Ryu's Teh Travels
by Nippon Ichi
Summary: Ryu's travels around the vast world. Updated once in a while.


One day Ryu was walking around Rome for some reason in Bangkok and he finds a can of whoopass on the floor. "l337" he mutters to himself. No one really understood what he meant by this; perhaps it is a referral to Counter-strike nerd culture or just a pointless introduction written under the ruthless influence of boredom.  
So Ryu opens the can. It reads: -  
"Shadaloo Brand Whoopass! For all your PSYCHO needs,"  
Curious he thought. So Ryu eats the can. Why? Because he is STRONG. He doesn't even need chopsticks to crush that crap! He even could even stick it up his... anyway, I digress. So he eats the can. And in a big strobe lighty purple explosion, M. Bison appears, wearing an intimidating Pink Beret!   
Bison says to Ryu "Lookey here, a PSYCHO SURPRISE! PSYCHO CURUSHAAAAAAA!"  
Ryu steps out of the way. Bison hits his head on a wall. Bison goes home to get some aspirin. Ryu wins.  
  
But suddenly, out of nowhere, a cow appears!  
  
Ryu buys some milk. See, ALL heroes drink Milk.  
Whew, after all those adventures and milk, Ryu needs to take a leak. He sees a port-a-loo nearby. He walks to it, and there is a sign. It reads:-  
"Shadaloo Brand Toilet! For all your PSYCHO needs."  
Curious he thought. So Ryu opens the toilet. As he undoes his zipper, a huge strobe lighty purple explosion appears! M. Bison appears, wearing an intimidation Pink Beret and Knee-Length socks!  
"This time, you won't be so lucky!" Bison exclaims.  
But suddenly!  
  
"Shinkuu - TATSUMAKISENPUUKYAKU!!!!!1" (intentional 1 there for added effect)  
  
And in a huge explosion of various multicoloured human excrement! Yes, it did smell. So Ryu pulls his hands back, in a familiar motion...  
  
"FEBREZE-DOU-KEN!"  
The smell disappears. It smells breeze-tastic! So, after having enough portable water closet adventures, Ryu walks along.  
So, for no reason at all, he ends up in Hong Kong. There he sees some pickled rice balls. Yum, he thinks to himself. So he buys one. Turns out the shopkeeper was Fei Long.   
"YOU KOREA?" says Fei Long.  
"N... uh, yeah, I'm Korea," replies Ryu.  
Fei Long gives a really high pitched annoying scream before saying "NO you not, I remember you from Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo Championship Hacked Dragon Fire Ultimate cream-filled EX 6 Edition! Now you die!"  
"K," replies Ryu.  
So Fei Long kicks him. Ryu blocks with lightning fast reflexes, and does a painful looking uppercut into Fei Long's face.   
"AIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!1" says Fei before setting his foot on fire and spinning around like a mentalist. Ryu then somehow blocks this fire with his arm with not even a scratch. Then Ryu kicks him. Fight over. Ryu wins, and performs an annoying pose where his headband cheesily flickers due to a convenient gust of wind.  
  
Annoyingly, Ryus uber-arch rival, Ken Masters appears. He is blonde, just like every other American obviously is. Ken says "Time to fight, newbie." to Ryu.  
Ryu turns around and does another cheesy pose against another gust of wind. Ken then launches a hadoken. Ryu sends out another one and they cancel each other out.   
"You're strong" says Ken, "but nothing compared to my engineering skills!"  
"SHORYU-REPAIR!!!!!!!!!!1"  
Ryu falls back and screams. Everything goes black and crap and a huge Japanese language sign appears in the sky out of nowhere and Ryu's skin darkens and his voice deepens, becomes more evil and such.  
Ryu then says, "w00t."  
So Ryu does this crazed teleport crap and launches, wait for it, a RED HADOUKEN. Ken is like "WTF hax" and then he dies.  
  
So, after enough fun and games in Hong Kong, Ryu walks for a while. A few hours later he finds himself in Tokyo. "Cool," he says to himself. Ryu's stomach growls. He walks along to a nearby Sushi Bar. The Sushi Bar says:-  
"Shadaloo Brand Sushi Bar! For all your HUNGERPSYCHO needs."  
So Ryu orders a huge portion of Sushi. He sits on the floor and begins to devour the delicious-looking meal in front of him. But suddenly, the sushi begins to horrifically unroll itself, and Ryu hears a familiar whining voice, and there is a huge purple explosion, as per usual! Somebody set up Ryu the bomb!  
"Bwahahahah!"  
Oh no, it's Bison, in an intimidating pink beret, knee high socks AND sky blue tap dancing shoes!  
"All your Hadou are belong to us."  
But Ryu, with his hyper-intelligent quick thinking Shoto skills, knows what to do. That's right, he throws sushi at Bison!  
"Nooooooooo....ooo...ooo!" screams Bison.  
Turns out Bison had an allergy to fish. Oh well. 


End file.
